Everyone knows that God’s name is meant to be hallowed, not profane. So, we’ve handpicked the best Christian jokes to keep you laughing without breaking any commandments!
Everyone loves humor. The Bible is full of a sense of humor. Hence, Christians should share laughter and enjoy these collections of beautiful Christian jokes.
These jokes are written with context to Christian comedy. According to Wikipedia, Christian comedy is a subgenre of comedy where the material presented is aimed toward a Christian audience.
Enjoy the beautiful contents below.
Beautiful Christian Jokes
Here are samples of beautiful, sweet, amazing and captivating Christian jokes… just for you.
Conversation between a 4 years old boy and his father
Boy: Dad, I’ve decided to get married
Dad: Wonderful, do you have a girl in mind?
Boy: Yes, grandma! She said she loves me, I love her too… and she’s the best cook and storyteller in the whole world!
Dad: That’s nice, but we have a small problem there!
Boy: What problem?
Dad: She happens to be my mother. How can you marry my mother!?
Boy: Why not?! You married mine!!
Money has different names!!!
In Church, it is called (offering),
…school it’s (fee),
In marriage, it’s called (dowry),
In divorce (alimony),
When you owe someone it’s (debt),
When you pay the government (tax),
In court (fines),
Civil servant retirees (pension)
Boss to workers (salary),
Master to subordinates (wages),
When you borrow from a bank (loan),
When you are offered after a service (tip),
To kidnappers (ransom),
Illegally received in the name of service (bribe).
The question is…
“When a man gives it to his wife what do we call it??
Answer __________??
Imagine serving your husband at the wedding reception and a lady behind you shouted, “he doesn’t like too much salad!”
If I want to marry your sister and you also want to marry my sister, are we going to pay bride price?
Exxagerated Testimony
So my father bought a car and took it for dedication in Church.
Testimony time>>> brethren praised the Lord, the Lord blessed me with a brand new car. Hallelujah!
Service closed. Time for prayers. Pastor said, Elder, please enter the car and start it so we can pray for it.
Ki ki ki ki… car did not start… Ki ki ki ki… car did not start…
My father: “please, brethren, help me push am small, e go start”.
Funny Jokes for Church Setting
Some people can be so wicked…
A bus full of ugly people had a head-on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, “I want to be gorgeous.” God snapped his fingers, and it happened. The second person said the same thing, and God did the same thing. This went on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man’s turn came, he laughed and said, “I wish they were all ugly again.”
We need not to mock God…
“There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn’t swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?” The preacher calmly said “No, God will save me.” A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, “Hey, do you need help?” The preacher replied again, “No God will save me.” Eventually the preacher drowned and went to heaven. Preacher asked God, “Why didn’t you save me?” God replied, “Fool, I sent you two boats!””
A man is talking to God.
“God, how long is a million years?” God answers, “To me, it’s about a minute.” “God, how much is a million dollars?” “To me, it’s a penny.” “God, may I have a penny?” God said, “Wait a minute.”
Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church. One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, “Where is God?” The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, “Where is God?” The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, “What’s wrong?” The crying boy replied, “We’re in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him!”
A man is angry because he has it in his head that someone stole his wallet. He walks into a church to steal someone else’s wallet, but he has a change of heart during the service. He confesses to the priest afterwards about what his intentions had initially been. The priest asks, “What made you change your mind?” The man says, “In your sermon on the Ten Commandments when you got to ‘Thou shall not commit adultery,’ I remembered where I left my wallet!”
The lord said unto John, “Come forth and receive eternal life,” but john came fifth and won a toaster.
A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says, “Dude, I’m Jesus Christ!” And the priest says, “No son, you’re not.” So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says, “Man, I’m Jesus Christ!” Then the priest says, “No son, you’re not.” Finally, the drunk had enough and said, “Here, I’ll prove it.” He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunk and says, “Jesus Christ, you’re back AGAIN?”
Q: Who is the most famous comedian in the Bible? A: Samson, because he brought the house down.
We are all God’s children right? And Jesus is God’s only son, right? So aren’t we all women
I wonder what the Church has turned into today… Now when Church ladies leave service and go home to wash their face, you can use the solution of makeups and water to paint a two bedroom flat.
Sweet Christian Jokes
1. What time of the day was Adam created? Just a little before Eve
2. What kind of a man was Boaz before he married Ruth? -Absolutely Ruthless
3. Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? -He just knew there was something fishy about it.
4. Why are atoms catholic? Because they have mass.
5. Why do they say “Amen” at the end of a prayer instead of “Awomen”? Same reason we sing Hymns instead of Hers.
6. Who was the fastest runner in the race? Adam, he was the first in the human race
7. What do we have that Adam never had? Ancestors
8. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose. Mosquitoes come close, though.
9. Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham, he knew a Lot.
10. How do you make Holy Water? You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.
11. Did Eve ever have a date with Adam? Nope, just an apple.
12. Did you know they had cars in Jesus’ time? Yup, the Bible says the disciples were all in one Accord.
13. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses, he broke all 10 commandments at once!
14. Which Bible character had no parents? Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1)
15. What’s the best way to study the Bible? You Luke into it.
16. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
17. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.18. Found some money in a church yard. Thought what would Jesus do…
So I turned it into wine.
19. Q: What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A: A Christler.20. The way we might sing some well-known hymns if we were being honest:
I Surrender Some
There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings
Fill My Spoon, Lord
Oh, How I Like Jesus
He’s Quite a Bit to Me
I Love to Talk About Telling the Story
Take My Life and Let Me Be
It is My Secret What God Can Do
There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
Just As I Pretend to Be
Other funny Christian jokes
1. What’s a believer’s favorite fruit? Spiritual.
2. How did Joseph make his coffee? Hebrewed it.
3. What’s loved by Noah and also most meat-eaters? Ham.
4. How do you know Pharaoh was athletic? He had a court.
5. 6. What did the family members say when asked who would say grace? “Grace.”
7. Which minor prophet is well-known, thanks to cookies? Famous Amos.
8. What do you call a prophet who’s also a chef? Habakkuk.
9. What did Adam say to Eve when handing her something to wear? “Take it or leaf it.”
10. what did the people in town say when someone needed a boat made? “We Noah guy.”
11. What did Zachariah do when he and Elizabeth had disagreements? He gave the silent treatment.
I hope you enjoyed this collection of beautiful Christian jokes. Do well to share this post with your family and friends. With that, we share the laughter.
Thank you.
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