We’ve compiled a list of amusing Lip jokes for you to enjoy. There are a few lipstick jokes that hardly anyone knows (and that will cheer you up).
Spend your energy reading those jokes and puns where the buildup is the punchline or when you pose questions with answers. We hope you’ll find this lip curl jokes amusing enough to share with others.
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The funniest lip joke of all time
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
Women really do hold grudges over the smallest things…
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm and I accidentally gave her a tube of super glue. It’s been a week now and she’s still not talking to me.Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in December?
The specific ocean.
My girlfriend started biting her lip to look sexy…
How do I tell her it’s supposed to be the bottom lip?
Lip Balm To My Wife
Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.
Lipstick Girls
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
You can explore lip cleft reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lip fingernails dad jokes. There are also lip puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
My SO thinks it’s sexy to bite her lip…
I haven’t got the heart to tell her it should be the bottom one….
A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, “Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?”
Biting her lip, she replied, “I think you need 2 ‘i’s.”
My wife holds grudges over the smallest things. She asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.
Even after a few weeks, she’s still not speaking to me
Women really know how to hold a grudge.
My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm.And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.
It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to me!
A penguin talks his snowmobile in to get fixed.
The mechanic takes a look at it and says “looks like you blew a seal.” penguin replies “no, that’s just frosting on my lip.”
What do you call it when an Irish band is caught lip syncing?
Sham rock.
I asked this lady if I could touch her hair.
She said yea. So I rubbed my finger across her top lip and that’s how the fight started, your honor
If I’m good at lip reading correctly…
Then my neighbours are calling the police about some creepy guy staring at them through the window next door.
My sister asked me for her lip balm. I accidentally gave her superglue
She’s still not talking to me.
A duck walks into a drug store,
He goes and puts lip stick on the check out counter.The cashier asks, “will this be cash or check?”
The duck says, “neither; just put it on my bill.”
I’m 29..
*Wife was in ICU*Doc: seems like she is in a coma.
Husband: Please save her, she is just 30.
*Suddenly the ECG starts beeping, her hand moved, her lip mumbled*
And she spoke: I’m 29
My wife keeps trying to be sexy by biting her lip
I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s the bottom one
My wife asked me to pass her lip balm but I accidentally handed her superglue instead.
She’s still not talking to me.
My wife asked me for Lip balm and I gave her superglue,
She hasn’t talked to me since
My girlfriend tried to look sexy by biting her lip
She doesn’t realize that she’s supposed to bite her lower lip.
“I’ve been a naughty, naughty girl” she said to me, biting her lower lip, “and I need to be punished”
So I installed Windows 10 on her laptop.
Somebody told my g/f it was sexy to bite her lip posing for photographs….
I still haven’t found the courage to tell her its the bottom lip you bite……
(you just tried to bite your upper lip)
My wife asked me to pass the lip balm….
…by mistake I gave her the super glue and now she wont talk to me.
Penguin is driving down the road…
when his car breaks down. He gets it towed to the nearest mechanic who tells him it will be a while before it’s fixed, so he goes to the diner next door to get some lunch while he waits.He comes back an hour or so later and asks the mechanic what happened with his car…mechanic tells him that he blew a seal. He looks at the mechanic, wipes his lip, and says ‘nope, that’s just tartar sauce.’
A boy with a wooden eye asked a girl with a hairy lip to the prom…
Seeing how nobody else would likely go with them, the boy with the wooden eye asks the girl with the hairy lip, “Would you like to go to Prom with me?”.The girl with the hairy lip, surprised and excited says, “Would I!?”.
“HAIRY LIP”, replied the boy.
What do you call the hair on a cows lip?
A Moo-stache.> The perks of having too much free time in a call center.
The result of a silly mistake…
Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. It’s been a month now and she’s still not speaking to me!
What does a deaf Gynaecologist do?
Lip reading
A new gynaecologist just opened near my area but, people are saying he is deaf…
I guess he is a really good lip reader…
I asked a friend why she did a lip augmentation again.
She said *bo look bepper*.
What do you call a deaf person who can’t lip read?
Anything you want!
At the supermarket…
I asked a lady if I could touch her hair, she said yes, so I put my hand above her upper lip, and that’s how the fight started
What do you call a cow with a hairy lip?
Moooostached
You might be a redneck if your girlfriend can pack a lip and go down on you at the same time…
…and still know what to spit and what to swallow.
There was once a party for the disabled…
There was once a party for the disabled. A man with a wooden eye sees a women with a hare lip and is instantly attracted. He approaches her and asks if she would like to dance. She enthusiastically replies Would I! Would I! .
So that man replies Hare lip! Hare lip!
My wife has a path of hair above her lip.
It’s tuft to look at.
Hey, this girl keeps staring at my lips whenever I’m talking, I think she wants to kiss me
Never mind she’s deaf and she’s trying to lip read
Was on Twitter earlier telling everyone about how I had this tiny spot on my top lip that turned into a massive cold sore…
It’s gone viral…
Helen Keller was blind and deaf.
She would still lip sync better than Mariah Carey.
Two snakes are slithering through the desert….
One named Fred, and one named Henry.
Henry turns to Fred and says: Fred, are we the kind of sssssnakes that kill by consssstriction or we the kind of sssssnake that kill with a deadly venomousssss bite?
Fred thinks about it for a second and reply’s Henry, we are the kind of sssssnakes that kill by consssstriction.
Henry say oh thank God for that, I just bit my lip.
A blonde went to an Alaskan sledding race.
She stood near a brunette as the race began. “There is absolutely *nothing* sexier than a man in a doggy-sled race,” she said, biting her lip.“Iditarod,” the brunette corrected her.
The blonde woman scoffed. “So? I’ve used a cucumber, but this is still hotter.”
My dad said there’s a throbbing pain coming from the facial hair above his upper lip.
It mustache.
My dad just got a job lip reading
He found out about it by word of mouth
I’ve come up with a way to stop homosexuality
Lip balm! – Rub it around your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away
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It’s not herpes
I burned my lip on a hot sausage.
What says “Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!” ?
A dog with a hair lip
I asked this lady if I could touch her hair
She said yes, so I ran my finger across her lip and that’s how the fight started.
Looking for a gift that will leave her speechless?
Gorilla glue lip balm.
Rosetta must’ve given her parents some serious lip…
Considering we’re all still talking about Rosetta’s Tone
What is the bestselling bodycare product amongst terrorists?
Lip bomb
What did the black guy see when he went down the roller coaster?
His upper lip.
I wanted to be a gynecologist…
But I don’t want to deal with all the lip.
Duck waddles in to a pharmacy and asks for some lip balm. “Certainly sir, will that be cash or credit?.”
“Just put it on my bill.”
Soo our friend Phillip got his lip amputated…
….we call him Phil now.
What sound does a dog with a cleft lip make…?
“Mark…Mark!”
One day I asked my wife
If I could touch her hair. She said that I could…so I ran my finger across her top lip. That’s when the fight started….
I told a woman that I liked her hair and asked if I could run my fingers through it. She said yes.
The fight started after I stroked her upper lip
My friends call me El Chapo…
…because I always keep at least an ounce of Burt’s Bees lip balm on me at all times.
Q. What makes this sound: Mark, mark, mark, mark, mark!
A. A dog with a hair lip.
Why do the British give terrible blow jobs?
The stiff upper lip.
What do you call chapstick made by President Barack Obama
A lip oBALMa
It usually works when flirting, Bite your lip.
P.S. Your lower lip.
Why does the blind man like his girlfriends to wear tight jeans?
So he can lip read.
What do terrorists use for dry lips?
Lip bomb
I wanted to learn to speak Elvish but I got the wrong book.
I can’t speak like the Elves from Lord of the Rings but I can curl my lip and order a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich like a champ!
A golfer misses a putt…
He read the break as left-to-right, but it hit the edge of the cup and went the other way.It was a bad lip reading.
Conclusion
Consider whether there are true-to-life jokes that really can help destroy civilizations or jokes that get girls to giggle. Several lip jokes and wordplay are meant to be amusing, but some can be insulting. We strive to mute jokes that push too extreme, are cruel, or offensive, and it would be fantastic if you could notify us if a joke becomes bullying or improper.